


Flex Seal My Asshole Shut

by Emperor_of_the_Plebs



Series: Flex Seal Family Of Shitposts [1]
Category: Flex Seal "Flex Tape" Commercials
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gay, It really depends on who you the reader are, Lesbian, M/M, Nonbinary, Other, Sorry if you don't have an asshole, straight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:40:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26337361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emperor_of_the_Plebs/pseuds/Emperor_of_the_Plebs
Summary: Flex Seal My Asshole Shut is a story about an asshole, yours specifically, the one that you posses, being Flex Sealed shut. Now that's a lotta damage. (not canon if you don't have an asshole)
Relationships: Flex Seal/Your Asshole
Series: Flex Seal Family Of Shitposts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913824
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Flex Seal My Asshole Shut

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ProfessorWillowsSubservientSon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfessorWillowsSubservientSon/gifts).



Man, you really have the urge to go Flex Seal your asshole shut. A huge urge. You don't know why, but you do.

So, you're going off to your local store that carries Flex Seal. I don't know where you live, you fill in the blank. If you don't live in a country where Flex Seal is sold, insert a plane ride here. You really must want to Flex Seal your asshole shut if you're taking a plane to go get some. But maybe you're not. I don't know. 

You arrive. Someone asks if you need help, but you don't. You know exactly where you're going. Straight where the Flex Seal is. 

You bring it up to the register.

"You got a leak?" The person asks.

"I guess you could say that." You say, before paying with money.

You go home using your method of choice, that you also used to get to the store. 

You're finally home. You take the lid off the can, and look lovingly into the spray mechanisms. You could kiss it. You do. It's going against your asshole next.

Phil Swift appears next to you while you're getting naked for the ritual.

"Don't do it!" He says. "If you Flex Seal your asshole shut, that would cause a lotta damage!"

You wave him out of existence. You have no time for meme phrases now, you're going to Flex Seal your asshole shut regardless of the damage.

You make sure you have it positioned right, so that the spray will hit your asshole. You do it. It sprays on your asshole. Coating your asshole and surrounding areas. You've done it. You've Flex Sealed your asshole shut. You have the world's first Flex Seal digestive system. Water can't get in. It stays dry.


End file.
